Hello, and welcome to my newest blog: The Lazy Way to 100,000 Twitter Followers. Every week I'll be posting excerpts from my work in progress by that very name. Well, let's just say it's a working title. So if you are interested in learning a little about Twitter, or even if you're not, please stop back from time to time, and please don't hesitate to add any comments that you might have.
You are new to Twitter, or maybe you've been around a while. You've read the rules, but probably not. What fun is that? No fun, that's what. You have a few hundred followers and you follow maybe two or three times that many. You pick up a few new followers every day and lose a few too.
No big deal, right? Probably not, unless you happen to be on Twitter in order to market your business. Maybe you're a writer like me. Maybe you paint and would like to sell a few portraits from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe you sell knick knacks on eBay or Etsy and would like to share your merchandize with others. You go into it thinking that Twitter is perfect for you but now you're beginning to have your doubts.
No one seems to want to follow you back. What's wrong with you? Maybe you've always been the popular girl or boy in school... you've spent a lifetime buffing your sparkling personality until it fairly glitters. Your friends and family adore the very ground that you walk upon. Hell, to them you don’t even walk like the rest of us bums... you float. But now, you feel lower than pond scum. No one likes you. Even if you manage to get a few people to follow you back on Twitter, they unfollow you the first chance they get.
I'm here to tell you it doesn’t have to be like that, and what's more, the solution is so simple, you'll squeal in delight as you see your follower stats puff up like that birthday hot-air balloon ride you always wanted to take but were never graced with. It's not too late! I mean, to right your Twitter ship and set sail for massive results, not that hot-air balloon ride. Trust me... you do not want to go there.
As I write these words, I have over 150,000 great followers... people who actively tweet my books and work with me on marketing. I help them too. The best thing about all of this: it doesn't cost a thing... only a bit of time, and I am here to teach you how to manage an immense Twitter following with ease and fun and all in less than an hour a day.
I joined Twitter in January of 2012 in hopes of furthering my book sales. It was one of those ill-conceived New Year resolutions that we all seem prone to jumping into without a lot of thought backing it up. I basically had no idea what I was doing and no predetermined goals but Twitter in its beneficence offered to help find people for me to follow... of course Snoop Dogg and Lady Gaga didn't care anything about following me back.
I allowed my account to sit dormant for a week, and then two. I didn't know who to follow, how to tweet anything, or how to retweet to save my life. That little blue bird that sometimes hides on top or in the corners on websites? I had no clue what it was or what to do with it. I saw other people tweeting their books but how did they do it? I was too stupid to know and too embarrassed to ask, so I just sat in front of my Twitter feed drooling like an imbecile and wondering what it all meant.
By chance or circumstance about that same time I happened to be reading Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill, not an all together truly horrible book but neither is it one I would recommend to others. Still, when Twitter mentioned Joseph Hillstrom King (yeah, he's the son of that King) as someone I might like to follow, I thought, why not? During my first month on Twitter I had managed to acquire maybe all of a half dozen followers (and half of those were Internet prostitutes promising to show me a good time) so what did I have to lose?
(to be continued)
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